dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
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this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
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Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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