Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
