Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
