i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
