UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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