I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
