Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
