After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
