I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
