I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
