So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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