if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
