Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
