She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
