can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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