come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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