she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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