I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
