Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
