pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
