Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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