I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
