I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
