The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
