im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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