thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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