Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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