i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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