I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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