Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
