If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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