Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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