OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
