We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
