I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
