i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
