just come out here and I will go home with you...
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize
