it wasn't lemon gatorade
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
