there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
