you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
