yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Randomize
