We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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