he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
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You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
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He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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