I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
