can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
