Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
