i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
