Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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