That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Semen is not good for contacts.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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