In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
