Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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