we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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