So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
