did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize