I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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