so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
