I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize