Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
