He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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