No stitches, just platelets and will power
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
