Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
